


A Start

by CelticKnot



Series: Mass Effect Fictober 2019 [23]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fictober 2019, Introspection, MEFFictober2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2021-01-13 14:37:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21147206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticKnot/pseuds/CelticKnot
Summary: MAFFictober prompt: "There a certain taste to it." Thane and Gardner have an eye-opening conversation.





	A Start

“Good morning, Sergeant Gardner.”

Mess Sergeant Gardner straightened and gave Thane a mocking salute, grinning. “Shit, Krios, when are you gonna lighten up and call me Rupert, like everyone else on this boat?”

“Perhaps when you cease to hound me about it,” Thane shot back with a small smile, earning a chuckle from the other man. Though Gardner could be abrasive and occasionally xenophobic, Thane was beginning to enjoy his banter, and was learning to, as the human put it, “give as good as he got.” And while he’d never been particularly outgoing, he was finding it good to socialize a little.

Gardner set a steaming mug on the counter. “I know you usually prefer to make your own tea in the morning,” he said, “but Commander Shepard asked me to fix this up for you. It’s an Earth blend she picked up the last time we docked at the Citadel. Said she thought you’d like it. It’s called Earl Grey.”

Thane took a cautious sniff, then a sip. The brew was rich and, well, earthy, lightly sweet with a hint of some kind of citrus. It was unusual, yet somehow familiar. Comforting. “It has a certain taste to it… that reminds me of home. It is quite good,” he said with an appreciative nod. “Please convey my thanks to the commander.”

“Why don’t you thank her yourself?” Gardner replied, winking.

Something in the tone of Gardner’s voice gave him pause, and Thane raised his brow ridge in silent question.

Gardner folded his arms and scoffed. “Come on, Krios, you do know she’s sweet on you, right? Everyone else on this ship does.”

Thane nearly choked on his tea. “She’s…  _ what?” _

“Sweet on you. It means—”

“I am familiar with the idiom.” He set the mug down on the counter with perhaps a little more care than was strictly necessary. And it was not without a certain amount of venom in his voice that he said, “However, I was unaware that the details of my  _ professional  _ relationship with Commander Shepard had become the subject of gossip among the crew.”

But Gardner was not in the least intimidated, and instead chuckled conspiratorially. “Think about it, Krios. Do you really think she spends as much time with everyone on this ship as she does with you?”

“She commands a vessel crewed by individuals chosen by an organization known to be hostile to her principles. I had assumed she was making an effort to get to know each of us personally.”

“Uh-huh. Some more  _ personally  _ than others,” Gardner drawled. “I guarantee you, she ain’t buyin’ tea from halfway across the galaxy for anybody else.”

Thane glanced thoughtfully at the mug on the counter. “I see.”

“And besides, I have trouble believing that someone like you wouldn’t notice the way she looks at you. Hell, I can tell when she’s goin’ to see you just by the look on her face as she passes by.”

“Someone like me?” Thane studied Gardner with narrowed eyes. “I advise caution, Sergeant Gardner. Though you and I have become friendly these past few weeks, you do not know me as well as you perhaps think you do.”

Gardner held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, fine. I just thought you were protesting awful hard, is all.” He shrugged. “She’d be quite a catch, you know. Unless—” He raised his eyebrows as a thought occurred to him. “You ain’t married, are ya?”

Thane gritted his teeth and looked away. Even ten years on, that wound was still raw. But he had no desire to reveal the details of his past to this man, so he said nothing.

At least Gardner was as perceptive as he claimed to be. "Aw, shit. You know what? Forget I asked."

"That would be quite impossible," Thane said drily, "but I understand your intent." He picked up the mug of tea again. "Good day, Sergeant Gardner."

"Yeah, you too."

Thane retreated back to the Life Support bay, his mind spinning. Surely Gardner was reading too much into a simple gesture of kindness. He and Shepard had become friends, yes.  _ ("It's a start," she says, and my heart jumps)  _ She had found something of her home, and decided to share it. That was all--a sharing of cultures between friends.

But was it possible… did she want something more? Had he been so blindly self-absorbed all this time that he'd ignored hints at deeper feelings?

_ ("It's a start") _

Her words echoed in his mind, the memory triggering the same breathless dizziness he'd felt at the time.  _ How… intriguing,  _ he'd managed to reply, but then he'd put the encounter firmly from his mind. Surely a woman like Commander Shepard wouldn't waste her time falling for a dying man. She wouldn't knowingly open herself up to that kind of pain.

Would she?

Perhaps he should make it clear that her friendship was all he wanted. Let her down easily now, and spare her the grief later. It would be the kindest thing to do.

But the thought made his throat tighten and his stomach turn, and he realized he didn't want to turn her away. She'd awakened something in him, something he'd thought long dead, and he… yes, he loved her for it.

Thane sat back as he finally allowed the thought to articulate in his mind. He studied it, poked at it, tested it. Was it really true? Indeed it was. Would it be terribly selfish of him to pursue this, knowing how it would inevitably end? Perhaps.

Or perhaps he wasn't giving Shepard enough credit. She was an intelligent woman. She knew what she was getting into. The idea that she needed him to protect her from herself was ludicrous. It was insulting.

He sipped at his tea, so alien and yet so familiar. Like her.

The first time he'd laid eyes on Commander Shepard had been down the scope of his rifle. She had blazed across the battlefield like an avenging angel, all ferocity and chaos and glory. Entirely unbidden, the first word to enter his mind had been  _ siha. _

That was what he'd called Irikah, whom he'd met almost the same way. That his mind should so easily apply the title to another had angered him, so when they finally met face-to-face, he'd kept his distance, remaining coolly professional. He had refused to think on the fact that Shepard reminded him of her.

But after she helped him rescue Kolyat, the word had slipped from his mouth almost of its own accord. He hadn't even realized what he'd said at first, until she'd asked him for a translation. He'd declined at the time, out of embarrassment or fear, it was difficult to determine.

Well. Perhaps it was time to stop being a coward.

_ A start, indeed. _


End file.
